Ah, the beloved holiday season: a time of joy, excitement, fellowship, and celebrating the magic that this time of year brings out, especially in the eyes of our children. Who doesn’t love a good family get-together over a table full of traditional foods like turkey, ham, dressing, assorted casseroles, and of course the desserts! I personally prefer ham to turkey but would never pass up a good home-cooked meal.
As we dive into the next six weeks, I hope you experience all of the joyous feelings that are associated with this time of year. However, it is important to understand that it is common to experience increased anxiety, depression, interpersonal issues, and even substance abuse during the holidays. I am writing this today in hopes you are able to understand these possible sources of stress so that you can cope in a way that allows you to come out on the other side feeling satisfied, rejuvenated, and ready for the new year.
Stress during the holidays comes in a number of packages: the social stress of bigger crowds and traffic, the temptation of eating or drinking too much, the discomfort some find with the colder weather and limited sunlight, financial stress of trying to purchase food or gifts that put that magical spark in our kids’ eyes, and sometimes just in dealing with family.
While avoiding triggers such as crowds and travel may be easier in today’s world of online shopping and home-delivery, coping with financial and family stress can be especially hard.
If you, like so many, are finding yourself stressed financially during the holidays, it is important to find a balance between what is truly meaningful for you and what you can realistically manage. If you enjoy a good meal but don’t have a local family to help, perhaps consider a get-together with friends who can share in the cost and cooking. You can also remember that having a “good spread” doesn’t have to mean large quantities of everything. Halving recipes to make smaller sized side dishes can be cost-effective and less-wasteful.
If you are concerned about the cost of gifts, consider low-cost or free options that can be enjoyed throughout the year. Many kids have a “dream” gift that would put a smile on their face and sparkle in their eye, but it is okay to be realistic about whether or not it’s affordable. In order to help off-set cost, consider gifts that can give lasting memories. I used to love a good “coupon book” of different fun activities to do with my family throughout the upcoming year. It may be to get ice cream, go out to eat, or go to the zoo (Montgomery or Birmingham) but it was personalized and meaningful. Things like this can also help defer the costs to later and help keep the excitement of the holiday season while also creating lasting memories.
Family can be difficult this time of year – not only because you may not get along with everyone you are related to, but also because we often spend more time with our aging family. It can be very difficult and disheartening to see first-hand the effects of chronic illness and dementia on family members we love, especially when we aren’t exposed to it throughout the year. There is no easy answer for how to handle this, other than to recognize that this stress is real and difficult, and you should not feel guilty for struggling emotionally when around some family members.
Over the next few weeks, I encourage you to be mindful of your thoughts. The “I should,” “it would be ruined if,” and “I am not good enough if” thinking does not help you. Instead, remind yourself that no one can do everything (even if their Facebook-life suggests they do). You are not a failure if things don’t go perfectly and it is okay if you or others make a mistake. It is okay and important to grieve a loss. Even if you feel alone, you are not. You have a friend, a relative, a pastor, or even a pet who cares about you and wants to help you through.
The holiday season, while sometimes challenging, is a time of joy, wonder, and celebration— especially as we see the magic of the season reflected in the eyes of our children. With a positive mindset and realistic expectations, you can navigate this special time and come out feeling fulfilled. From all of us at the Hale County Hospital family, we wish you and your loved ones the happiest of holidays!
